zoom

iwillmindfuckyou:

laughterisaninstantvacation:

badw0lfbay:

thisissuchaproblem:

kobheaded-booberkin:

damnitjim:

distastefortruth:

not-xdanimalx:

secretsbest:

 

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

this is the best oh my god

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

There was nothing we could do… to prevent breakfast.

the cream spread so fast, it was too late to stop it.

oh that’s it..the comments have killed me.

(via issanoodles)